Can't find spouse to serve divorce in Indiana: what to do

If you answered “Yes” to “Are you afraid of your spouse?”

If you are in danger, call 911. For safety planning, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.

Why: Safety comes first, and an advocate can help you plan before you contact your spouse or the court.

If you answered “Yes” to “Are you afraid of your spouse?”

If there is a restraining or protective order, follow it exactly while you search. Don't contact your spouse in a way the order forbids.

Why: Breaking the order can be a crime, even if you only want to serve papers.

Start a written search log: each thing you try, the date, and what happened.

Why: Before allowing another way of service, the judge will want proof that you really tried to find your spouse.

Remember that your spouse can usually be served anywhere, not only at home: at work, at the gym, or anywhere they spend time. Usually someone 18 or older who is not you (often a sheriff or process server) must hand over the papers; some states also allow service by certified mail.

Why: You only need to find the person, not their address.

If you can reach your spouse by phone, email or social media but don't know where they live, ask if they will sign your state's acceptance or waiver of service form.

Why: Most states let a spouse accept service in writing, which avoids the search entirely.

If you answered “Not yet” to “Have you already filed your divorce petition?”

You can start the search now while you prepare your petition. The request to serve another way (publication or posting) is usually filed after the petition is filed.

Why: Your search log will be ready when you need it, and the judge's order is made in the open case.

Do the usual searches: ask family, friends and past employers; try the last known address by process server or certified mail; search online and social media; check county property and tax records; check court records online.

Why: These are the steps most courts expect to see in your search log.

Check jails and prisons: the Federal Bureau of Prisons inmate locator, plus your state and county inmate search pages.

Why: Courts often ask whether you checked whether your spouse is in custody.

If you answered “No” to “Are you afraid of your spouse?”

Ask the Post Office for your spouse's new address. A self-represented person can ask in writing if it is for serving court papers; the request must name all parties, the court, the case number if one has been issued, and the capacity in which your spouse will be served, and certify that the address will be used only to serve legal process. There is no fee. Use the letter on this card (it follows the Postal Service's standard format).

Why: Federal postal rules allow this disclosure for service of process, although the Postal Service can refuse to protect someone's safety.

Check whether your spouse is on active duty using the Department of Defense SCRA website.

Why: It won't give an address, but it tells you where to look next, and you will need this before any default.

If you answered “Military” to “Do you think your spouse may be in the military or in another country?”

If your spouse is on active duty, tell the court. Before a default, the judge must appoint a lawyer for a servicemember, and the case can be paused (for at least 90 days in some situations).

Why: The Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (50 U.S.C. 3931) protects servicemembers who don't respond; legal help matters more here.

If you answered “Another country” to “Do you think your spouse may be in the military or in another country?”

If your spouse may be in another country, ask the court's self-help center or a lawyer how service abroad works before you try it.

Why: Service in another country follows treaties and the other country's rules, and doing it wrong can undo the divorce later.

If you still can't find your spouse, ask the judge for permission to serve another way. File your court's request form with a sworn statement (affidavit) listing everything you tried.

Why: You can't publish or post until the judge signs an order allowing it, and you must serve exactly the way the order says.

Depending on your state and judge, the order may allow a newspaper notice (often once a week for several weeks), posting at the courthouse or on the court's website, or sometimes email or social media.

Why: Methods and timing differ by state; publication costs are paid to the newspaper, and some courts allow posting if you have a fee waiver.

After the notice period and the response time end, ask for a default divorce. Before the judge enters a default, you must file a statement about whether your spouse is in the military.

Why: Federal law (the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act) requires this affidavit before a default judgment.

If you answered “Yes” to “Do you need the court to order money or property from your spouse (support, splitting property or debts)?”

Know the limit: when your spouse was served only by publication or posting, the court may be able to end the marriage but may not order your spouse to pay support or transfer property. Keep searching and get legal advice if you need those orders.

Why: Courts generally need more direct service to make money and property orders against someone.

If you answered “Yes” to “Have you already filed your divorce petition?”

Ask the clerk how long you have to serve after filing and how to ask for more time.

Why: Many courts dismiss a case if service isn't done in time (for example, 6 months in Nebraska and 60 days in New Jersey).